When I was your Cabin Girl
by imaginationdaydreams
Summary: This is the story of Gemmy Hawkins, a feminized version of the classical Jim Hawkins. She lives at the Admiral Benbow Inn, but her life changes when she is given a treasure map. It is the story of her adventures aboard the Hispaniola; between following her heart, and following people's warnings. Living for 2 months on a ship full of pirates, can really change your life. True love.
1. I Need Adventure

What a waste of my life! All I ever heard people screaming at me was, "Rum! I need more rum!" or "Don't forget to scrub the floors before supper!". The concept of supper was pretty laughable for me, I mean really, it was just some lousy table scraps that the innkeeper, Mrs. Bulveridge, had leftover at the end of the day. There was very little lighting at the Admiral Benbow Inn, which was where I lived and practically slaved. Since I was now 14 years of age, Mrs. Bulveridge decided that I did not need an education as much as she needed my help running the place.

The smell of smoke and cheep rum permeated the air, and soaked into the old wooden tables. The customers got a little rowdy sometimes, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. There was one guy that lived there, he was a real trip. He told great stories, though I did not know if they were true or not. One that he was particularly fond of telling was that of a treasure map that led to a huge cache of gold. The man who buried it so many years ago supposedly killed the crew who helped him, and the died himself before he could return to the cursed island to claim it. The real mystery is that no one knew who had the map now. There was also something about a one-legged man that my friends and I were suppose to look out for, although he never really told us why.

Even if they weren't true stories, they were the closest thing to entertainment that I found around that place. That is, besides my friends, Gonzo and Rizzo. They were a handful, but were a lot of fun. We loved to dream about magnificent places that we could explore, and we loved going down by the docks to pretend we were explorers. There was always something amazing going on, all you had to do was look for it. Gonzo and Rizzo also held a practical place at the inn. They helped me out with the never ending pile of chores, and also lived at the Admiral Benbow Inn.

The night was coming to a close, and all the patrons were leaving. They paid me not attention as they dragged themselves out of their chairs to go home for the night. It was the usual routine. I cleaned up the tables, washed the glasses, mopped the floors, put out the candles, stoked the fire once more, and then put out the lanterns. The last chore was the hardest, because I was only 5' 1", which was definitely not tall enough to reach the lantern hanging in the street. This is where the benefit of having friends came in handy. Gonzo climbed atop my shoulders, and then Rizzo got on the very top. He could just reach the lantern, but this was the only way anyone could reach it.

"I hate my life," I announced to my friends as we stood in a tipping tower on the side of the street before bed.

"I hate your life too," Rizzo assured me.

"I want to have an adventure! There are so many better things that I could be doing, there is so much out there that I have never seen or experienced. I am tired of working myself to the bone. What, just to survive? Guys, we gotta get out of here!" I exclaimed in joyous aspiration.

Life was just so monotonous, I was going to loose my mind! I had read stories of people going on grand adventures, finding treasure, riding elephants, and exploring wild forests. There was nobody in the town I was living in that seemed like my kind of people. There was just no life for me there. I need to go out and see the world, and do it while I was young and had my heart set on it. I did not want this feeling to go away. I wanted a better life full of adventure and real excitement.

They would have loved to leave right then and there with me, but they reminded me of two things. One, that Mrs. Bulveridge needed my help, and that two, I was an orphan with no money, so I would not make it long out there all on my own. I argued about it with them for a while, but I saw the truth in what they were saying. I was stuck there, doomed to wash and dry, and to do it till I died.

We walked back inside from the foggy street lamp, which was now extinguished, and shut the inn's door behind us. It was nearing 1 am, and we needed to be getting to bed, but then in stumbled Mr. Bones in his usual drunken stupor.

"Rum! I need more Rum!" he shouted at me taking me by the arms and giving my a violent shaking.

This was not an uncommon thing.

Gonzo rushed to go get him a glass, but Mrs. Bulveridge had a keen sense of hearing and called down from her room not for us to get him anymore rum for the night. I was not in the mood to deal with him begging me to get him some, so I poured him a small glass, hoping that he would go to bed after that. Gonzo shot me a look of "not again" and we hoped together that the effects of the strong smelling float would set him to sleep, but it didn't.

There was a faintly knocking noise and then the front door of the inn flew open with loud bang! A ghostly looking man seemed to float inside the room with all of the tables.

"Oh, Billy Bones!" he cried, "where are you? I know you are hiding from me."

He looked horrible, like he had been out at see far too long. No, make that, in the sea to long. He looked like a ghost that had just washed up on the docks. He must have also been blind because he stumbled over nearly everything in the room, including the moose head on our wall. Finally, after fondling my hair a bit and threatening my friends, he found Billy Bones, who had taken out a gun to shot him. Just in the nick of time, Blind Pew, as he told me his name was, went flying through the air, muttered a few insults and threats at Mr. Bones, gave him a small piece of paper, and the wandered back out the door into the streets, disappearing forever from my sight.

"What did he want?" I begged Mr. Bones to tell me.

A shriek of alarm and then an exclamation of horror resounded from him as he unfolded the paper in his shaking hands, "The black spot!".

He ran in a drunken whirlwind to his room pulling me along with Gonzo and Rizzo running by our side.

"Quick! There isn't much time, get my sea chest ready lads. Blind Pew and the rest of Captain Flinty's crew will be coming back to kill me. I'll go get that treasure myself. I have got to before they get the treasure map," he told us his plans, but was cut short when he fell back on the bed and started to have a heart attach. He pulled my closer to his side,"Take the map Gemmy lass, and run with it as far as you can, and then run still further. You are the only friend I got. Oh, but don't run with scissors," and with that, he died right before my very eyes.

"We are standing in a room with a dead man!" Rizzo yelled, and we ran out of the room, only to have dangerous pirates in the hallways set to kill. Rizzo, Gonzo, and I broke the glass of Mr. Bones' bedroom window, and jumped out of it to safety. Loud gun noises and yells were heard inside. Mrs. Bulveridge called to us that she would be alright, and told us to run for it, which we did, but not before a terrible boom was heard, and the inn caught on fire from the explosion that came from the storage room. We ran as fast as we could. I placed Gonzo on my back, and tucked Rizzo underneath my arm as I ran. We dashed down the alley, and in front of the village stores. The nasty pirates were following us, but were no match for us when I grabbed a horse from the stables and scurried out of town, not knowing that I would probably never return.


	2. I Need A Ship

We rode out of town in the early morning, by now it was probably 3 am, but we were all way too excited to sleep. The inn, our home, had just exploded in flames less than an hour ago, and Billy Bones, our best friend had just died, leaving us with a treasure map. At least that is what we thought it was, we were only going on the words of Billy Bones so far, and now were running around aimlessly on the back of a somewhat stolen horse. It breathed heavily as we turned up the road and over a hill. The pirates that we had left behind in the last town still remained frozen in my mind. They would probably still be there for years to come.

Billy Bones had told us many stories about his years at sea with Captain Flint. Something in particular that he liked to talk about was the ship that he sail the sever seas with. Gonzo was fortunately able to remember the name of the man who had built the ship for Captain Flint and his crew, a man by the name of Trelawny. Supposedly he lived in the town of Portsmouth, which was 22.1 miles from where we lived in Southampton. We had gotten far enough down the road to escape the pirates, but I wish that I would have had that horse to ride all the way to Portsmouth. About 5 miles down the road, we ran into a couple that frequented the Admiral Benbow in. They asked what we were doing out so late, and I explained to them what had happened. I also asked them to take the horse back to the stables, as it was not rightfully mine. So, the rest of the Journey to Portsmouth we had to make on foot, which is why I wished that I still had the horse, Rizzo made me carry him on my back. We still had 5 hours of walking ahead of us.

We continued ahead with our journey, but we were getting quite hungry and tired.

"Do you think Mrs. Bulveridge will be alright?" Gonzo finally broke the silence.

"I suppose so, she told us she would be fine," I replied.

"She always did have a pig headed nature to her," Rizzo consoled us.

The morning sun was starting to rise, and the birds in the trees seemed to be waking up. The ground was so hard that it wore down the surface of my shoes with a harsh fervor. I couldn't go on much longer. Rizzo's little rat feet dug into my back, and it hurt so bad.

"Guys, we need to stop. I can't carry him on my back much longer," I finally pleaded, "the sun is going to be up in the sky soon, and then we really won't be able to sleep. The shipbuilder will just have to wait." With that, we stopped on the side of the road, walked back into the bushes so that we couldn't be seen from the road, and got ready for a very cold sleep.

We were awoken by carriages going down the road, all of them heading to Portsmouth, which is where we need to be.

"Wake up! We have got to get going now, the shipbuilder can't wait forever," I ordered them.

The rest of the journey was fairly uneventful, all until we arrived in the town. We knew what town to look in at least, but we had not the faintest idea of where Master Trelawny was. We had to ask a half a dozen people if they knew where to find him. Finally, we came across a middle aged lady who was able to point us in the direction of his office, "Go down the road and then take a right".

There is was. It was a small red brick building sandwiched between two taller grey buildings, each about three stories high. "Trelawney and Son: Master Shipbuilders" the sigh read. It was a lovely sign, that glistening in golden color that was lit up by the bright sunshine pouring out of the sky and through the slats of the covered porch. The oval shaped sign had a rope border and a magnificent ship towards the top of the plaque that extended out of the perimeters of the sign. The richness of the mere sign alone made me second guess if Trelawney would really finance our proposed venture.

"Whoa, whoa! Reality check here, guys!" Rizzo finally voiced our craziness.

"It is worth a try, Rizzo," I countered him.

Just then a scholarly looking man stepped out of the red brick building and greeted us, asking us if we wanted to see Trelawney. Her informed us that he was gone and would not return for a few months. We turned to leave, with our spirits crushed, but he stopped us suddenly and asked if we wanted to see Master Trelawney's rich half wit son Squire Trelawney. We entered the vast hall, and entered into the squire's study.

"Well gentleman, this is definitely bona fide treasure map," he exclaimed with great satisfaction of knowledge.

Evidently it was a man who lived in his finger that told him so. Even if he was a complete bozo, he had money, and that is what we needed, lots of it. He agreed to finance our journey, complete with a schooner ship with a full crew! We could not believe that it had happened. We were really going on an adventure now! We were going to go get the treasure, but we also had to avoid the pirates that Mr. Bones had warned us about.


	3. I Need Food

Finally, the day had come when the schooner was ready to sail with a full crew. We had been getting restless, and Gonzo was getting increasingly worried that the pirates who had attacked our home would come for us. The map had to be kept as much of a secret as it it could be, because if people started to find out while we were still on land, and had not even set sail yet, then there could be major complications. The town seemed fairly safe, and the room that Squire Trelawney had let us stay in had provided an excellent cover from the streets, and an great place to hide the map from people. Now it was finally time!

Squire Trelawney accompanied us down to the docks where the schooner was to be waiting, the Hispaniola. There it stood towering stories above us, and bobbing up and down in the beautiful waves of England's coast. It was a fine vessel made of solid wood, blood, sweat, and tears. It reminded me of the ark that my papa used to tell me about, the one that had helped save the animals of the earth. We were kind of like that. This ship was going to change our lives, and save us from the pirates.

Men scurried around the ship getting the last preparations ready. The captain was not aboard yet, so we figured it could be an hour or two before we set sail. Some of the sailors greeted us as we boarded, and I was happy to see that they were fine fellows of the sea. Surely we would be safe here with plenty of adventures, a good crew, and a sturdy ship of wealthy proportions.

"Cool ship, I am starving. Where is the kitchen," Rizzo asked unenthusiastically.

We made our way to the galley just below deck, but as we neared the entrance, we heard mellow singing. It was the cook singing sea shanties, he had a distant and deep toned voice, that of a strong man, it sounded very good. Slowly we inched up closer, but Rizzo ran ahead of us out of his insane love of food. I poked my head around the corner, and caught a glimpse of him, his voice matched his appearance. He looked rather rugged and wore typical pirate attire, except the he also wore an apron. Something about the way the swinging lanterns cast a yellow glow across his face made me scared. I noticed just in time that Rizzo had ran ahead, and was about to eat an apple without asking. I burst around the corner without thinking twice, nearly running into the next wall.

"What have we here? Stowaways!" the cook exclaimed, pulling a knife up to my throat, "I am afraid we barbecue and shish-kebab stowaways aboard this ship! Wait, I know, you must be the new cabin boys."

"Yes sir, we are," I assured him.

"I am sorry lass, I did not see that you were the new cabin girl, my humble apologies," the cook exclaimed as I stepped into the light coming from the open door,"Long John Silver, at your service." At that he gave a mocking little bow and a mysterious smile. "Hungry lass?" he asked as he tossed me an apple.

"Thank you sir," I exclaimed as I caught the apple.

"Oh, you needn't be calling a lowly ship's cook 'sir'," Long John stated, taking the knife he had held up at me, and laying down to take my hand in his and giving it a small kiss.

The feeling of his service came as quite a shock to me. I could see the color of his eyes, they were deep brown, but they sparkled like sapphires. He was a very charming and loud man.

"But we are just cabin boys, Mr. Silver," I retorted.

"Long John to his friends. And believe me, lad... a friend you can trust is worth his weight in 's many a dark-hearted scoundrel in these ports," Long John spoke in a hushed murmur.

"Like pirates?" I asked, quite worried at the thought of encountering pirates again.

Long John's facial expression changed in the blink of an eye to something that silently seemed worried and begging me to mention that word. A loud squawk rang out and a lobster appeared on his shoulder.

"Allow me to introduce my pet lobster 'Polly', finest crustacean a man could ask for. Raised his from a fingerling I did," John stated with pride. Evidently sea faring men did not have talking parrots, but talking lobsters. You learn something new everyday. My thoughts were cut short by the sound of a trumpet blaring outside the ship. The sound was getting louder and closer.

"That be the captain lass, run along and go stand at attention. I will be there just as soon as I can," Long John directed us. But when he stepped out from behind the counter, my heart jumped, but not in a good way. His leg was right one to be exact. All I could do was stare at it.

'Oh, that? Lost that timber-fighting brigands off Madagascar under Admiral Hawke. There's many a man lost a leg and worse in the service of the king. Why, look what a cannibal took off me... in exchange for me own life," the cook held up his hand, with two fingers apparently missing. I flinched and diverted my eyes, but just as he saw me cower, he started laughing and opened his hand all the way, thus showing his hands were fine. He was a real trickster.

We ran out to the top deck to see the captain's carriage come roaring around the corner. There was a man driving the carriage, and a man next to him blowing a horn. The sounds echoed out over the beautiful blue waters, and bounced off of the Hispaniola. Samuel Arrow, the first mate, made everyone stand at attention. He was a very hoity-toity man, and made everyone shipshape. All on deck fell silent as a stern looking man with a white powdered wig stepped out of the carriage. To our surprise, instead of walking straight ahead, he stepped to the side. Then we saw the true captain, an adorable little frog in white boots, a huge hat, and a beautifully decorated outfit of blue with gold buttons and a rack of military awards.

"Heigh-ho, everyone!"Captain Smollett greeted everyone.

"That is the raging volcano?" Rizzo questioned.

"Maybe he gets 'hopping' mad," Gonzo joked back at him.


	4. I Need A Better Crew

This voyage has begun!" Captain Smollett announced.

The gangplank was raised, and the beautiful billowing sails were unfurled. Evidently Rizzo had been selling tickets to the town's rats for a 'cruise ship', so the ship was now not only full with the crew, but also had hundreds of vacationing rats aboard. This made for very cramped quarters, but we set sail none the less. We cast off and began our journey. The sun was shining, and the sea was calm. The waters were clear and sparkling blue. I had fallen in love with it.

"So, what be a bright young lass like yer self be doing on a vessel with the likes of us?" John asked me as we walked back to the galley together. Gonzo and Rizzo had ran off to explore the ship.

"Well, it is rather hard to explain," I said, picking at a bag of flour,"I needed an adventure. Life back where I use to live was going to get me nowhere. This seemed like the best idea."

"I understand where you are coming from," Long John replied with a laugh,"the sea is the best place for people like us. The stars will be coming out soon. Have you ever had the pleasure of seeing them out on the water?"

"I don't think so, I have never been on the water before," I admitted, as I leaned in closer to show him that I was interested in the conversation.

"Well then, there is a first time for everything," he grinned, as he grabbed my hand, and led me out on to the top deck with him,"such beauties they are... as are you."

I blushed a little as he said this at first. Even though we had made it up to the deck, he still held my hand in his. I say that because he did not just hold my hand, he held my hand in his. There was a remarkable size difference between my hand and his, but both of our hands were the same in that they were both rough and worked from the lives that we led, though they were different, they were very much the same. Something in my brain was connecting me to him.


	5. I need a bed

p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"His eyes were of the deepest brown in the world. Darker than the mountains and only surpassed by the night sky itself. He was mysterious, large, and handsome. His dark hair fell down around his shoulders and cut across the jaw bones of his deepened cheeks. He looked out across the water, his demeanor every bit that of the description of his profession; a pirate. "If you would, Madam, allow me the pleasure of your satiating my curiosity. Tell me Lass, what be a gentle thing like you doing being with the likes of us? Take no offence, but ye look quite the flower girl to me," Sliver asked. I cocked my face to the side as I questioned, "What do you mean?" Silver's eyes looked towards the heavens for a moment as he thought. I stared intently at his red lined vest with the golden buttons finding it quite unbearable to make eye contact. Silver eyed me up and down just as he had the stars above. "Shouldn't ye be with yer parents sewing petticoat and finery for the sea town's homes?" he finally asked. Should I tell him the truth?/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"He was still making the same intense eye contact as he had before; waiting for my answer intently. "I'm an orphan," I admitted, the empty feeling from the pit of my stomach crawled up and radiated from the spine of my meagerly clothed back. The stars up in the sky served as no refuge. "Whew, I'm sorry to hear that Lass. Coincidental to say the least, I were eight when my father died," he spoke as he leaned against the ship's sticky wooden railing, "the salt of the sea stings the fresh cuts of the flesh. The salt of memories stings the ancient cuts of the heart. I guess we have a lot more in common than I thought," he tried to lighten the mood as we both stood farther apart from each other than I would have liked. I took a step closer, "I was five when I lost my parents. How old are you now?" He looked up at me with a small smile as if to say "Yes, of course. There is no need for sadness in this moment of new beginnings". "I'm 57, Jennifer," he laughed, "And you be, Lass? I rung my hands together with the nervousness of telling him, "I'm about one quarter your age." He gave a small display of amusement. "Oh, but don't worry," I blurted out not even having a justification as to why. "I'm not worried. Not much unnerves, Old Long John anymore. By the stars I tell you what, why don't I show ye to you yer room?" I squeaked out a small thank you as he led me to the galley of the massive ship./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"There we were back in his work space with the yellow lantern hanging calmly from the low ceiling. There was a bed in the back side room of the galley, not terribly large, but adequate for one maybe two people. "Here we are, Jennifer," Long John alerted me. I looked at the bed and then him and then back at the bed, "I can't sleep with you." "Well, of course, you could sleep in the bunks with thirty other men," Long John stated with a smirk. I thought for a moment, panicked, "I will sleep on the galley counter tonight if all is fine with you. "Go head, Lass. I wish you a good night's rest. Just ye remember, if cold air or nightmares come to yer sleep, the bed is still open to you," Long John said with a friendly tone. br /I hoped up on the hard wood counter, thin blanket in hand, and took to my undertaking of swell needed rest as I saw him extinguish the lantern and heard Silver climb into his bed. Silently I lay there for quite some time before finally falling asleep./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Around one in the morning I woke. The lantern had been re-lit. The blanket I had taken to bed with me was wrapped around me, but still I was freezing unable to sleep. The heat radiated off of the glass dome and still my body shivered and shook. I didn't know what to do about the cold other than bed down with Silver. He was asleep anyways, so it wasn't too bad of an idea. Anything seemed better than my current conditions./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Quietly, I crept over to Silver's bed. The freezing floors cut at my bare feet as I wandered by the lamp that had been re lit. That was funny, I remembered him extinguishing it as I went to sleep. The image of his face and the shadows that the yellow light had cast on him still cast shadows over my eyes. There he lay beneath the covers. His brown hair a tangle on the ever so inviting sheets. I breathed as quietly as I could as I tried to slip beneath the covers. The heat of his body was intoxicating so I slipped in further. "Gemmy? Caved so easily?" his voice quietly mocked me. "You rascal. You did this on purpose," I countered. He turned his body in the bed," I be a decent gentleman to you, Gem. I lit that old lantern just so you's might stick easier to yer standards." I was quite taken aback that he had lit the lantern just for my comfort, "I'm sorry, Silver." "No harm done. What are ye doin' way over there? Ye look half froze. Come here. I won't bite," he said pulling me closer./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I flew across the sheets as he yanked me in. Now I was nestled against his body with my leg obscenely across his. My face was mere inches from his and all was silent for a moment as he stared at me with deep eyes, until suddenly he let out a roar of a laughter. He found the whole thing funny for some such reason that he was influenced to laugh so hard that he shook the bed and gave off such a commotion that my reputation was certainly all but ruined aboard the ship already. He wrinkled his nose and snapped his teeth together in the air teasingly. he could sense my concern at the situation, but I dared not move back away from his close embrace. "Oh, don't worry Gem. I won't lay a hand on ya. Bright as flames yer cheeks are though. Oh, haha, bless me soul," he laughed, "Oh, get to bed, Gem. We has a long day head of both of us."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"At that he pulled me in a little closer. It was oddly comforting somehow. I guess I hadn't really had much for close contact lately. He smelled of leather and deep, dark alcohols and I liked it./p 


	6. I Need to Cry

Dinner was coming to an end. One by one the crewmen sat down their plates, and took up their projects for the evening. Some of them repaired sails. Others began to sing and play music. The wind had been picking up, but I still had a ton of work to do. For instance, there were the dishes to clean. My apron was already quite stained, and it was time to wash it again. Cradling a towering pile of dinner plates in my arms, and trying my best to keep the grime off of myself, I fumbled my way down the stairs to the galley.

Secretly, I hoped that no one would be around down there. It was so hard to find alone time on a ship of this size with so many crewmen. Lucky for me, it was empty. There was only the yellow lanterns hanging from the ceiling, and the orange glow of the sunset coming down the stairwell to light the galley up for me. It was a beautiful glow. Sploosh! The dishes dropped in the sink, and caused a tidal water of dirty dish water to soak the front of my dress. I swiped at my clothing with my hands to try and save myself, but had to continue doing the dishes in defeat. This evening had not been going too well for me, but still, I had a lot to be thankful for.

I didn't really know why, but I had been dreadfully stressed that day, and now that it was evening, it all came crashing at me like that tidal wave of dish water. Still, I tried to hold it back. Pirates, after all, were not suppose to cry. But then it happened... it was a silly little thing really, but it was all I needed to be pushed past the breaking point. A cup fell on the ground, and shattered by my feet.

I was angry I broke the cup. I was angry that Long John would be angry. I was angry that I was going to have to clean it all up. My evening was full enough of things to do as it was.

It had been months since I had cried, so I guess it was time. I just stood there in front of the sink crying in self pity. I didn't want to stop, and I didn't care if anyone heard. I wanted someone, anyone, to realize that I was upset, and that I was disappointed.

I thought about my family, he voyage, my soaked apron, the stress of the crew, how bad I wanted maple candy, and just about everything else under the sun. I cried about all of it. I think that the worst part about crying is when no one can hear you. It is like you are protesting to thin air. Your cries feel as though they are in vain. The more you cry, the more desolated you feel.

Finally, my tears let up, and I feigned resolution. I had convinced myself that I would be fine; that I was strong enough to do it on my own, and I believed it until I was no longer alone. It was only then that would I realize just how weak I really was.

Dishtowel in hand I began doing the dishes again, and I even started to hum a song that I heard being played on the top deck. Then I felt a hand on the top of my head. I spun around to face Long John staring down at me.

"What be troublin' ya lass? Me never seen cryin' like that 'board this ship," he looked down at me, and I looked down at the dishtowel in my hands.

"I'll be fine-" I couldn't hold it back any longer.

I flung myself in to his chest and started sobbing violently. His hands cradled my back with the care that only he could provide me.

"Do you want to tell old Long John what this is about?" he asked me.

"Everything. Just everything. I broke a cup," I answered him, half embarrassed at the sound of it.

He let out a laugh, "An old cup! Why I've broken me own hand, and not cried over it."

"You're not a girl," came my reply.

"Oh, come on now. Must be something worse than a broken piece of pottery going on," he questioned me, still holding me close to his body.

"The whole ship, this whole thing is just really hard, and I don't know what to do about it," I finally answered him.

He lifted a string of hair off of my face as he spoke, "Aye, it is hard, but that is what makes it worth it. If it was easy, everybody would be sailin' out here, and where would that leave us? It takes a lot of strength to do what you be doin', and honestly I'm surprised that you didn't break down sooner."

"You really mean that?" a smile came to my face.

Long John got a serious look in his eyes as he told me, "Gemmy, never would I lie to ya."

He held me in his arms a little while longer before he told me to get back to work, which I returned to with a new found happiness.


	7. I Need To Get Better at Sitting Down

No matter how long I spent lying there in bed, I simply could not fall asleep. He was the only thing I could think about. I slid an oversize linen shirt over my shoulders, and it fell down past my hips. Nearly everyone on the ship was asleep. I made my way across the deck, the cold air giving my skin a vibrant wind blown look. My thoughts only got stronger as I stared up at the stars. It reminded me of the time he showed me Polaris. I considered that our star now.

I started up the oatmeal for the crew of the ever nearing morning. The sun would be up before long.

"And what might you be doing down here this late at night, lass?" Long John inquired, causing me great fright.

"Oh, it's you... I just be setting up tomorrows breakfast for the crew, is all... couldn't sleep," I answered with a hint of regret. There was no way I was going to tell him the real reason.

The lantern swung low and tossed to and fro, casting quire shadows across my face and his.

"Ah, lass no need to worry, soon we be in port again... be that what is troublin' ya my friend? Ol' Long John be here for ya mate. Sit yer self down, and we can have a talkin' tonight," he said with a concerned smile.

He pulled me out a chair to sit on, but the rocking of the boat made it very hard to steady myself, and I some how ended up falling into Long John, his hands wrapped around arms to keep me from falling to the hard wood floor.

"Careful lass," his voice was tainted and very quiet.

His eyes glinted in the yellow light pouring over us, coming from the candle shining on the table. If you looked into John's eyes too long, you would either get scared and have to look away, or get so intrigued that you would begin to study his whole face, and then lean in to him for a closer look. The later is what I did.

"What ye be doin'?" he asked slowly, almost as if he was in pain from the closeness of our bodies.

Maybe, I was losing my mind, but I was so lonely and scared. I leaned in slowly, but curled my head into his upper chest at just the last minute, resting on his shoulder instead.

"Now, Gemmy, ye ought to be more careful 'round sea dogs, such as me self. We have been out here too long, ye wench... Cat o' nine tales to the buccaneer who is found causing a stir," his voice was distant and rehearsed.

Imagining the possibilities, I carefully reached down to grace my fingers over his leg, his pants were worn and thin. Our heads were so crowded, and we were hypersensitive to touch. The cold air felt like needles.

Suddenly, he grabbed my head with his right hand, and under my arm, around my back, with his left. He pulled me closer, as my legs wrapped around his waist. His hair tickled my face, and he ran his hands up and down my back, stroking me gently.

"Lass, listen to me," Long John took my hands in his,"ye be too young to know what you are doin'."

"I know darn well what I'm doing," I told him, even if it was a bit of a lie.

We just sat there feeling great warmth for a very long time. We were just exploring each other, smiling and laughing at times, as well as wincing and grimacing at the taunt passion and burning each of us felt deep within ourselves.

"Well, we best be getting the crew their breakfast ready. Eh?" he voice woke me.

I was sliding off of his lap, and getting the tell tale wrinkles out of my clothes, when the captain walked in. He gave us a slightly odd look, but then seemed to dismiss any thoughts that he had about the idea, and went on to say what he had come for.


	8. I have been wondering, and I still am

The sand felt warm under my feet. Trees gently swayed in the wind. All was well, and I was very happy. Everyone was happy, we had finally found the island of the buried treasure. "Silver, where are we going?" The crashing waves below the cliff's edge that we were walking on drowned out my hushed question, "Where are we going?" I repeated. His hands tightened around mine as he spoke softly to me, "We are going somewhere far away, my child."

We crossed over miles and miles of palm trees. The sand was clear and washed around my ankles. Little frogs sat in the bushes, and tropical birds called up ahead.

Up and up we waltzed, the sea getting farther away, and the top of the hill even closer. We reached the top of the mountain finally; a grassy little knoll with some coconut trees. The wind whipped the trees around. I looked off the edge of the cliff we had been following along, and could see the whole island. The boat was anchored far off in the distance. Captain Smollett and the crew members wouldn't be missing us for too long.

"Would you come over here, lass?" Long John asked me, his voice swamped in hesitance, "What would you do if you heard the captain had been injured?" "Probably run to go help him" I chirped in triumph. "What would you do if I was injured?" He changed the question a little as he asked it. "Same thing," I answered him plainly. "Suppose the gold had been stolen, or there was a mutiny, or the map was burned, or someone tried to hurt you?" He seemed to be rambling now, his words like an out pour from the reservoirs of the dish washing water from back at the inn, "Go play in the grass a little while longer, lass. Please, it will do you good."

I walked over to the grass underneath the edge of a tree that cast a beam of shade all around it. There were some shells up there that the birds had brought up. I played with them in the sand making little works of art: castles, hearts, and smiley faces. After I drew my name in the sand, I laid back in the fresh green grass. Long John sat beneath a tree too, his hat pulled down over his eyes.

The sun got higher and higher in the sky. We must have slept for a good hour or two, but the sky was still blue and bright as ever when I finally woke up, dreary eyed and lethargic. I glanced over to where Silver was sleeping under the tree, but he was gone!

I scuffled along on my hands in the sand around me, looking everywhere I could see from the grassy knoll. I had to find him. Still drugged with sleep, I bumbled along the edge of the cliff, and there he was, leaning up against a boulder a few feet down the cliff's face.

I adventured through the bushes, and down hillside, with the grace of a sea fairing man in high heels. As I came up in front of Long John he turned his head to speak to me. He rebuked me gently, "You didn't have to climb all the way down here to be with me." I had no reply. He simply took me by the hand, and led me back up the cliff, back to the grassy knoll that over looked the cliff's edge.

As we walked up from the cliff, he started counting every step we took from the cliff's edge. He kept counting till we reached the palm trees. There he produced a rope from the inside pocket of his jacket. "Are we hanging a hammock here for the night?" I asked him, genuinely curious if we were staying the night. "Gemmy, please give me your hands, lass," his voice was very serious. I watched him as he took the rope and bound my hands together, twisting them and tying them in a knot. Too my shock, he then took the ends of the rope and tied me to the tree. I knew not to speak.

He obviously had a good reason for doing so, but why had we told me to go play like a child in the grass? He made sure that I got some good rest too, why was that necessary? I guess he had always just been worried about those sorts of things for me. It was nice of him.

He nudged me over a bit, as he reached around to secure me tightly. He left some lead on it, so I was able to walk around a bit. I heard him count out the length of the rope with his hands, adding 10 counts to it as he did so. "Why?" I asked him in simple verse, "Why did you tie me to the tree?" His answer was shorter than I expected, "For your safety, lass. Only one day I hope you can understand." With that he took the flasks of water out of his pockets, the flask of rum, and a piece of bread folded up in a handkerchief, and placed them next to me.

He turned to leave, and walked away; not a word, nor hug, or sound.

I was left to wonder.


	9. I need dry land

The hot sand warmed up my stiff back. Seas and seas of it covered every inch of the beach. My hands dug deeper, and still the sand was warm. I buried my hands completely, and only then did I reach the cooler layer below. The sand conformed to every plane of my body; the heat calming my mind. Then I woke up.

The thin linen sheets were tangled up between my hands, and the heavy air stuck in my lungs. The air here was smooth from the humidity, but made it hard to breathe it. Next to me, Long John was still asleep. "Why had I woken up?" I wondered. A loud noise fired in the dark. It pierced the night like a boulder falling off a cliff. The sound of thunder rolled over me, and I waited to hear if it would happen again. Wooo crash! It peeled a second time.

"Wake up. Come on, wake up," I grabbed Long John by the arm, my worried tone apparent. He tried to swat me away with his hand, but I persisted.

"What in the seven seas! Go back to bed," he grumbled.

"But it was really loud. Come on, wake up," I said.

I sat on my knees next to him in bed, and slowly he turned to face me just as there was another deep and low rumble.

"go tell the captain, and let me get back to bed," He replied as he covered his head back up with the sheets.

Just then there was a loud knock on the galley door.

"Mr. Silver! Open up. It is Mr. Arrow," came the voice at our door.

I scurried out of bed, and double checked to make sure that my night gown covered me enough. "I'm coming!" I yelled, as I stumbled to the door.

"Good evening Miss Hawkins," Mr. Arrow said, "I came to advise both you and Long John to stay below deck tonight. A terrible storm is on its way, and I would hate to see anyone fall overboard."

"A storm, oh dear, thank you Mr. Arrow," I replied.

He gave me a small bow, and then continued on his way to tell all of the other men. I closed the door behind him, "Silver, did you hear that?"

When I looked behind me for his reply he was already getting dressed as best he could in the near dark. "Where are you going?" I inquired, scared of what his reply would be.

"Mr. Arrow is wrong, somebody needs to get out there, and help them with the sails," he replied.

He pulled his shirt over his arms, and then did the buttons at the sleeves; the little white buttons that I had sewed back on more than once for him. Next he grabbed his brown vest off of the vanity, and fastened it. Then his headscarf and his boots were pulled on and tied up. The last article of clothing that he put on was his coat.

I had been searching for my shoes during this time, and had finally found them and was putting them on when he stopped me, "Oh no, lass. You are not going out there in that storm-" I stopped him mid-sentence, "Well, I am not going to stay here alone!" He didn't think about it long before continuing again, "Well, you can't go out there Looking like that." And with that, he took his coat off and draped it around my body. IT nearly reached my knees, and you couldn't see my hands, but I felt safe in it.

The ship was rocking harder now, worse than I had ever felt it. When we opened the door, a gust of wind tried to push us back inside the galley. It was still very dark outside. "Get that rope over there and tie this one off!" silver commanded me. I fought the urge to wrap my arms around myself in the cold. Hurriedly, I tied the rope to the deck while he shouted other commands. I knew that he wasn't trying to be mean on purpose. It was just the tension that he was under. If one of us messed up out there on the deck, it could mean the loss of a life.

Waves washed over the deck. "Get out of the way, Gem!" Silver yelled at me. A huge wave crashed over the railing, knocking me off my feet. The water drug me to the end of the ship, pulling with all its power to wash me off. My hand grabbed at the water frantically. I was nearing the edge! A rope washed around, and I tried to grab it, but it floated away before I could. The water was icy cold. As a desperate last attempt I grabbed onto the deck railing. My hands started to slip, but i was able to pull myself back aboard.

My heart raced as another wave roared up in the sea. I saw a metal pole on the deck and clung to it with all the strength I had left, but it was slippery and the rocking of the ship pulled me off. I felt something behind me. It was long John. "Hold on!" he shouted as the wave crashed over the deck. His body shielded me from it. "We have to get below deck," his voice was lost in the crashing sound of water. Other sailors clamored around us trying to escape the same disaster. All of the lines were tied down as we made our way along the middle of the ship back towards the galley.

A wave flooded down the staircase to the door at the bottom of it. Silver shoved me in the door as he locked it behind us. Water poured down our bodies and our soaked clothing. "Are you okay?" I asked him, noticing a gash on his forehead. "I'm fine. I'm just glad your safe," his voice trailed off," I don't know what I would do if something happened to you." I sat down on the floor and removed the jacket he had let me borrow. The smell of a tropical storm, wet, warm, and sweet, replaced the normal galley air. Waves crashed in heavy sounds at our door.

I went around to the other side of the bed to try and shield myself from Silver's view. Hastily, I removed my drenched clothing, and wrapped myself up in the top bedsheet. It draped around me like a Roman gown. My tangled hair dripped water on the rough wooden floor.

"Well, that sure was close," I said, as I tried to dry my hair with a rag as much as I could.

"The storm isn't over yet," he reminded me, "the worst is yet to come, I'm afraid."

He was holding an old rag up to his forehead, and I could see the fresh blood stains on it. He noticed me looking at him, and answered my unspoken question.

"I will be fine, Gem," he assured me.

I didn't really believe him, it was a pretty nasty gash, but I didn't have much choice. He had gotten it when he shielded me from the second big wave. If he hadn't of done that, I probably wouldn't have been back there with him in that galley.


End file.
